Last Failures of Last Year

Remember my early December goals? I don’t expect you to, since I myself have forgotten about them. Or pretended to have forgotten. Eh, who knows? The fact of the matter is none of those things came to fruition. Not even close.

1)      Cooking? Pfff If memory does not deceive me, I probably cooked breakfast for my husband one morning, which involved breaking an egg or two in a pan and throwing a few slices of bacon in the microwave oven. Thank God there was no bread, cause toasting it would have exhausted me! Hangover, or “altitude sickness” as he called it *wink, wink*, is no fun and I felt real bad for him. My love made booboo all better! Still, goal NOT achieved though…

2)      Working out? Groupons tend to get me motivated; I like the feeling of cheap(er) stuff. So I got this voucher for a yoga studio; I went a couple of times, which were fun, but then baby and husband* happened and yoga stopped. I never got to touch my toes without squealing like a chicken.

3)      I DID SCRAPBOOK! A couple of days even! But that brought me nowhere close to finishing any of the unknown-number-of-years old projects. Soon… soon enough…

4)      Homeless care packages? This I purposely left out. I’m serious. OK, it may have been a bit of laziness, BUT my logic was: everybody is so generous around Christmas and then January comes and all return to forgetting about the poor and needy. And that’s when I come in! With freshly zipped Ziploc bags filled with goodies. Maybe I’ll do this around Valentine’s Day.

5)      Hubbyloo’s Xmas pressie – I actually accomplished this! Wow, all this time I’ve been feeling so miserable for having accomplished nothing, and look at me nailing 22% of my resolutions/to-do list! Oh, he loved his Xmas pressie: a 16-page Playmike magazine with spreads of his appetizing wife. Boom!

Gonna spend the next five minutes thinking about my 2014 resolutions. My resolutions for the year 2014. I am not that ambitious!


* “baby and husband” is one of many variations of “excuse”; this term is used internationally, by both sexes, in situations when the apathetic torpor and indolence are too shameful to disclose to those around you. Or to yourself until you happen upon a mirror.


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